Clarity

Yesterday was "Ocean" Etude Op. 25 No.12 Chopin.
Yes, I like Chopin so what?
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Rising and falling of tide, a norm we barely mind.
At times a mistaken philosophy.
Leading us towards falsity.
Demolishing even for the toughest shield.
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Ugh..
Me and my bigotry again. Nevermind.

The thing is... According to...[Kee Wei Liang's mode]
..We sometimes misinterpret the real intention of our heart.
We meant something else and the other party might probably
get the wrong meaning. Or so we call it bypassing, according to Mdm. Shangeetha.

And sometimes, the choice of word affects the perception of the other person.
Even for the approach of writing [in this context].
And I too, mistakenly perceive the real intention of the other person.
I think. Since I'm a hyper sensitive type of person. Easily getting hurt. Haha.

But then again, poor judgement of our decision is caused by our revolting mind.
- I mean, our repulsive mind. We're just not clarified with the truth.
And apparently both side of the party is just so suck at clarifiying their intention.
Overshadowing their words with so many flowery words
[just like what I'm doing ritgh now].
We can't expect everyone to understand it. Eventhough sometimes we do
it on purpose. Since they sounded so...Shakespears? Heh.

The point is, if we aren't clear with the other side's intention, ask them.
And for the other party, be honest. Don't give them more riddles.
It's just going to turn things much hazier. Which is super annoying.
I've had enough of misunderstanding. It ain't fair. It's exhausting.
So just spill it okay? Fight first, not cry.
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ps : So tonight's theme song will be Clarity by John Mayer.
Pretty much cover up everything I had in mind.

Despise Divertimento

Don't call me Mozart,
I'm neither Bach.
My life is not a divertimento.
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Yeah, you won't understand it. That's my purpose.

Dan aku bukan dalam mood Shakespears untuk mengarang tulisan yang mungkin buat
semua berlari mencari Oxford Advance Learners dalam possession di depan skrin komputer.

Kau belum kenal aku, kalau kau fikir hidup aku semacam divertimento.
Mungkin aku kipas-tak berapa nak-mati Andrea Bocceli, Luciano Pavarotti
mahupun Il Divo.
Belum tentu aku faham Italiano.
Tapi jangan kau minta ku dendang Hasta Mi Final.
Nanti kau yang terkial-kial.

Double the code.
Makin kau takkan faham aku.
Macam mainan Noda Megumi dengan Etude Opus 10 No. 4 Chopinnya.
Notasi berdrama yang amatlah fast paced.
Salah kau langkah, salahlah interpretasi kau akan aku.

Kau tahu?
Aku ketawa sendiri.
Kebenarannya kau yang paling mudah membaca tingkahku.
Tapi rupanya kau yang paling awal cabut lari.
Aku tahu. Bukan hak aku menyalahkan kau.
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Ye aku tahu karangan kat atas tu incomplete.
Macam Symphony No. 8 Unfinished pak cik Schubert.
Tapi aku dah off-track. Since sebenanye aku nak state pasal hidup aku sekarang je.
Yang makin kuat aku bertahan, makin kuat Dia uji.
Aku ingat pesan Ustat Najhan, "As sobaru minal iman.."
Haha. Bahana dengar lagu Chopin Etude Op. 10 No.4 tu banyak kali.
Dan kacau Law Lik Wen dengan 'pondang'nye tu.
Lawak la ko Law.

Massu, Misoshiru, Ubat Tido

Blink, blink.

Bersepah buku ESL sekeliling aku dek nak menyiapkan assignment.

Haha. Buat lagi kerja tang eleventh hour. This is so not me.

Pada masa yang sama, aku berfikir pasal flow minggu ni. Akan mula jadi lebih sibuk. Dengan MUET next week. Haha. Aku memang hebat. Amatlah berharap plan besar minggu ni menjadi. After all those things yang bakal aku lalui sebelum tu. Bak kata Ili, charge compass morality..Takut2 aku ended up circuit shot macam mamat NEWS dua orang ni pulak. Haha.

Untuk avoid dari tertidur, aku pun layanlah Weeek. Ntah berapa round dah. Kalau real punya mesti NEWS dah tercabut kerongkong nyanyi untuk aku =_='. Mahu peluk Massu & Misoshiru kuat2 bila jumpa nanti...:)

Dan harapnye minggu ni minggu yang happy macam lagu Weeek.

Tanoshi n de ikiteikou, sa ikuzou!! XD

Riddle me this, figure me out.

Absurdly absorbed.

Introverted intuition, extraverted thinking.

Introverted feeling, extraverted sensing.

I'm so absurdly absorbed.

Cognitively connected.

Logically convoluted.

I'm so absurdly absorbed.

Fear me.

The strategist, the scientist.

I'm so absurdly absorbed.

Mood : Introvertly contented. Very, very contented. XD

Berangan nak collect model kapal terbang.

Hoho.

Early Premonition

Just as I thought.

Whenever I feel bad, it means something unpleasant is about to take place. Ever since last Wednesday I felt so restless. And I had mixed feelings. As a result, I accidentally made a friend felt miserable. Ah, malu sungguh!

Nekad, the day after the theatre I went back to Klang. Just in time for lunch. So, I had lunch with Mak & Abah since Aie's working. And so, Mak broke the news. Which, made me felt like I was struck by lightning. It turned out that, Abah was admitted to the hospital on Thursday for a small surgery. Yeah, shock & slightly furious since I haven't been informed about it. Still, as her daughter I have the right to know.

I guess that pretty much cleared up the fog in my head. Yeah, surgery is something so familiar to us, family. So many surgery that sometimes we lost the feeling of being so anxious waiting for the other person in the ER. Still, I can't help from feeling worried about those people. I guess those 'premonitions' really come in handy, though I hate them sometimes since they cause me agony.

And I really, really, feel ashamed of myself whenever innocent people are involved with my problems. Shoot, I just hate myself I could flushed it down the toilet bowl. Haha. Dear friend, forgive me will ya? I dunno what the hell I was saying back then. And Abah, please be okay! Hopefully you'll feel much better after the holiday trip. Love y'all!!

Pseudo-Me

Etoo... this surely is awkward. But I'm gonna get straight to the point. These few weeks had really been draining my energy out. So, I tend to act- pretty peculiar. I'm always like that. Plus, for the first time in my life that my assignment had been rejected by a lecturer. So, yeah. It's sucks.

The thing is, etoo... I sorta made my dearly friend in agony today. I told that particular person, something that I shouldn't told. And that person pretty much stunt with it. This is basically what you get when you're working straight hours without enough sleep.

So, yeah. If you read this, I would like to clarify something. Just forget whatever things I've said before. I know I shouldn't have said such things with you. I wasn't hoping for anything from you. And, you know I'd never wished for such things to happen. I guess I'm too dry to think properly after working almost 10 hours with very few rest. And I really, really hope it won't effect our friendship. Yeah, it won't be the same as before, just like you always told me. But, just don't treat me awkwardly after this. Please? Kite geng kan?

These are the times when Mak & Abah would scold me for being so weak. Vulnerable. Instead of comforting me. Aiyah. And Abah would say something like " You know your late great grandmother used to be a pendekar! And she even had a defected leg! But she could fought bravely! Shame on you if she saw you like this!" Yeah, pity her she has such a weak grandchild. But thank god Abah told me with a teasing tone. If not I would've cried. Haha.

Yeah. Before I get disconnected with the outside world for 2 days, I would like to apologize to those that I've hurt probably. You'll never know what's gonna happen in the future. Maybe I'll ended up in a hospital or something. Haha. God knows. Right'O, Kye checking out! Gotta drive early in the morning to Sabak Bernam. Till then, farewell everyone.

Assalamualaikum.

クライ

Tuhan.

Biarkan aku menangis.

Biarlah tangisan itu memadam luka dalam hati ini.

Luka dari tusukan lama yang masih belum sembuh.

Tuhan.

Biarkan aku menangis.

Biarlah tangisan itu mengejutkan aku dari lamunan palsu.

Lamunan yang takkan pernah jadi milikku.

Tuhan.

Biarkan aku menangis.

Biarlah tangisan itu buat aku lupa.

Lupa akan sesuatu tentang dirinya.

Tuhan.

Biarkan aku menangis.

Cukuplah.

Cukuplah.

Cukuplah.

Biarlah aku menangis.